Today was one of those days that we had a million things to do. But nothing that absolutely had to get done righthisminute. So on a whim, we decided to drive to Des Moines to see two movies - Office Christmas Party (which we missed while it was in Fort Dodge), and La La Land (which we didn't think would make it here). The schedule worked out so that we saw La La Land first, and by the time it was done, we didn't want to go to Office Christmas Party anymore. We wanted to absorb and reflect on what we had seen.
Full disclosure, I love musicals. All of them, the good and the bad. That being said, this one is good, in my opinion. The music is excellent, the dancing superb, the costumes enviable, the scenery magical. The story was captivating; I really invested in the characters, their lives, their dreams, the way their love story entwined. As I write this I am listening to my favorite song from the movie on repeat - "Fools Who Dream".
In the movie, Emma Stone's character, Mia, sings this in an audition, when she is asked to tell a story. "Here's to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem. Here's to the hearts that ache, here's to the mess they make." This song captures so much of what I feel right now - this idea of dreaming and going for what you want in life - to leap without looking. I've been really inspired by this lately - and I want to make this year the year of going for my dream, following my passion, living a full life.
The only problem? I'm not sure what my dream is.
Dancing used to be my dream. Watching this movie brought that up, as anything with dance does. I physically ached with longing to dance again. But I know that's not my dream now.
I went into ministry knowing I was called, at least for a season. I seem to have a talent for most of what I do, and at times I do have a passion for it. But I don't think it's my dream. I'm not sure it's what I want to do forever with this one life I get to live.
After we left the movie I couldn't stop crying, and Joel asked me why. He was energized from this movie, excited to pursue goals, dreams, passions. I had trouble naming why I was crying - it wasn't all sadness, though that I think, is part. It was in part because the movie was simply so beautiful it moved me to tears.
But in large part, I cried because I can't name my dream.
So there it is. Perhaps part of my adventure for 2017 will be finding that dream.
Speaking of adventure, after the movie we went to a local Hawaiian restaurant, and I let Joel order while I went to the bathroom. He got us something called spam musubi, which is basically spam sushi. In the name of adventure I tried it, and it was quite delicious! So here's to trying new things and dreaming new dreams!
XOXO, Bethany